Li Yang is an evil son of a bitch – conclusion

Li Yang ruined my last class with my students.  That bastard picked that time period, when all the foreign teachers had class, to sign autographs.  I really enjoyed my class and most of them were in line for that asshole.  I pulled them out of line with five minutes left so I could have my picture taken with them.  The kids who go to Li Yang’s camp and walk away loving him are brainwashed.  Critics of Li Yang are right to call his camps a cult.  He’s a businessman, not a teacher, not a celebrity – a fucking infomercial superstar.  That’s it.

He’s such a douche bag that he didn’t even say goodbye to the camp in person.  He videotaped it and had his tampon of a sidekick Daniel show it to the camp.

I made sure all of my students, except for the children I looked after during the VIP sessions, knew I did not like Li Yang.  And I told them why.  I argued with one of my TAs, the only guy, about whether Li was a business man or teacher.  I still can’t believe anyone could think he’s a teacher.

I have a week of teaching at my school under my belt, and I made sure to talk about Li Yang in all of my classes.  Only one of my students has ever gone to one of his camps, and he hated it.  You have no idea what a relief it was to find out all of my students think Li Yang is a crazy man who is only in it for the money.  I even spoke to other teachers and a few faculty members here at Nan Tou, and they all said the same thing.

Thank God.

So, from now on, I’m splitting Chinese people into two categories: those who like Li Yang, and those who have minds of their own and hate him.

If Li Yang accomplishes what he wants to do, which is to teach 300 million Chinese how to speak English, he will be one of the most influential men in China.  If he continues to say Americans are too stupid to learn Chinese, and if he continues to say quasi racist shit on stage in front of children, there are going to be a lot of Chinese who are affected.  Down the line, that could be a problem, but I have faith that Li Yang will fail.

China fell for a douche bag who had pictures of himself everywhere and made crowds chant propaganda in unison once before, and I doubt China will fall for it again. …

As for how I acted at the camp, obviously I could have handled it a little better.  But, you know what, I’ve always hated authority, and the way Daniel came down on me those first two days, it made me want to be an asshole.  I don’t regret it.  I gave Clark a lot of headaches, but you know what, fuck him.  Maybe from now on he’ll warn Americans about Li Yang before they sign a contract.

And a lot of the other foreign teachers were complete tools.  There was this potbellied weirdo from Texas who was missing a tooth.  There was Wayne, the Bible thumper who sucked Daniel’s dick.  There were these two Canadian guys, Edward and Martin.  Edward was a tall, skinny, beady-eyed Christian, who told a bunch of people “Lady Gaga sold her soul to the devil.”  Who does shit like that?  Lady Gaga is HUGE in China, and, in a weird way, Lady Gaga’s popularity here is a good thing for America.  It makes this place more westernized. … Leave it to a Canadian to say something like that.  Martin was cool, but strange.  He said he was convinced the Oklahoma City Bombing and 9/11 were carried out by people inside the American government.  There was this middle-aged woman who was way too energetic.  She referred to the students as her “Chinese grandchildren” and she rapped on stage during the Lunar New Year’s Eve celebration.  There were these anti-social American girls who were strange, and then, of course, there was my money-loving nameless friend, who had this “let’s go gang” spirit the entire camp that made my blood boil.  She was the one who decided, and then organized, the final “performance” that the foreign students had to do.  She had us something called the Cha Cha dance.  Everyone had to do it.  I just stood in the back and pretended to be moving.  On the final day, she wore a turtleneck, and when I saw her in it, I wondered if the 31^st Li Yang Crazy English Intensive Training Camp would be the demise of our friendship. … I hope not.  She’s cool if you have her in small doses, when she’s not wearing a turtleneck, and not butting into your conversations and arguing with you. …